In life you often have to fail at something a number of times before you become good at it. Online dating is not exempt from this notion. The more you know and have experience with it the better your online dating experience will become.
When I first started online dating all my dates were bad. Granted, I was going on dates to literally just get comfortable with the experience of interacting with a woman in a one-on-one situation. After a few weeks of going on dates without really screening profiles well I decided I need to come up with a game plan. Most of the dates I went on sucked and red flags that I should have picked up on in their profiles I didn’t. Questions I could of asked on the phone or email prior to meeting I didn't ask. And because of those things I got burnt. Early on I often went on bad dates with women that I had no chemistry with and I wasn't attracted to. Something needed to change. A game plan had to be put in place to avoid the awkwardness of sitting through a bad date.
My Guide to Having Good Online Dates Part 1: Photos
(Note* each individual has their own unique set of wants and needs that are important to them. THESE ARE MINE OWN. Your job is to figure out your own wants and needs. Find out what kind of person you want to be with and narrow down the top personality traits and physical characteristics that you must have and go from there. I would advise to not obsess over your lists of wants and needs though. Use them as a guideline for the filtration process of going through the numerous online dating profiles. Having a game plan can save you from going on bad online dates, but being too picky can prevent you from seeing someone that might pleasantly surprise you. There needs to be a happy medium between the 2 to have success in online dating.)
Part 1: Photos
Physical attraction is key. Anyone who says attraction isn’t first on their list is usually lying to themselves. The default profile pictures are what catches our eye first as we scan through hundreds of online dating profiles. When I search though the pictures of someone’s profile, I have my guideline rules that these pictures need to fall under or I will not proceed with communicating or ever come close to going on a date.
For starters, she needs to have at least 6-10 photo’s. I know some online dating websites only let you upload 6. Not sure why this is the case. A site like Match.com lets members upload up to 25. Do you need to have 25 pictures? No, but I can get a better idea of what you look like with more pictures. More evidence leads to quicker conclusions.
The photos can’t be all glamour shots, convenient angles or from some special “I’m all dressed up event” such as a wedding. I want to know what you look like on a normal day. While she may look incredible in these wedding pictures or black and white photos, it’s probably not a great barometer to determine an accurate representation of what she really looks like. If all her pictures are from one dressed up event or glamour shots I’d red flag that profile in a heartbeat. If you are still interested in this person by all means message them and ask them for more pictures. You can even say something like “These photos are great but, I want to know what you look like on a typical Friday night.” She should have no problem with this. If she does have a problem then I’d move on. Boom. Done. 4th down, bring in the punter.
You don’t want to waste your time with women who are being deceptive in their photos. It will only lead to you going on date with someone you’re not attracted to and like most men, paying for a meal for someone who you have no intentions of ever seeing again. Remember, 50% of women post photos on online dating sites that are deemed misrepresentations of what they truly look like when you meet them face-to-face. They’re masters at this. It’s you job to do your homework and call them out on it when you think something is fishy with their pictures. If you come away from a profile and say to yourself “I’m not really sure what she looks like still,” then you need to ask for more pictures. It’s only complicated if you make it. The times I went on dates with women I ended up not being attracted to were due to the fact I didn't follow these guidelines.
Part 2: Facebook for Fact Checking Your Potential Date
